Last Goodbye
by SamuraiGirl7
Summary: This is a oneshot from Cagalli’s perspective as she thinks about her life, and Athrun. Give it a chance… you might like it. I MADE A SEQUEL... it's not as sad or angst.
1. Last Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed/Destiny. I am just a simple human using simple words hoping not to make too big of an idiot out of myself.

This is my first ever Gundam Seed/Destiny fic and I just couldn't help but write it. I have been reading so many Athrun and Cagalli fics and I really wanted to put something down myself. I hope you enjoy…

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**Last Goodbye**

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My name is Cagalli Yula Attha and to this day am still in love with Athrun Zala. I have often wondered why life takes the shape that it does, why it twists and turns like a rollercoaster. You see, though I am in love with Athrun, he is with another. 

I do not hate the woman he is with, for perhaps she will be able to give him the life I could not. Perhaps she can love him as he ought to be loved. Perhaps, she can devote her attention to him, unlike me. I chose to let go, and it only cost me my heart. You see I am the "Princess of Orb" or rather the Chief Representative of the Orb Union and have responsibilities that I must fulfill. However, this is not the reason I returned the ring he once placed on my finger. No, the reason is far more complicated than that.

Why is it that hurt and pain can overtake us? That we allow it to overtake us? Why do we let others in only to be hurt? Simply put, I'd say because we are not meant to live as islands. We have relationships to survive and need, yes, truly need people. I needed him, yet I let him go. Oh how I wish I could have just told him how I felt, how I feel. Tell him that I love him and will always love him, but, I cannot. I will not. I was forced to almost marry another when my heart was already given away. Thankfully my dearest brother came and snatched me up, saving me from the dread of a life with Yuna Roma Seiran, for I was not thinking clearly at the time.

It's been three years since I last saw or was in contact Athrun, unless of course you count the TV interviews from PLANT and political documents passing by me with his name on them. Three years and yes, I still love him. Pathetic? Perhaps, but then when you love someone more than life itself, how long is it supposed to take to "get over them"?

Am I destined to carry on with my country as my love? That I do not know, but I do know, that as long as Athrun is happy, then I am happy. My heart wrenches at the sight of emerald eyes, even if they are not his. My memories hit me like a flood and yet, still I press on. How many kisses have I shared with his sweet lips? It doesn't matter anymore, for I will no longer take part in that bliss.

For as long as I shall live, I shall love only that man, Athrun Zala, the man who captured my heart before I knew I was giving it away. Love stumbled upon us both and we were blindsided by it. Do I regret it? Never. Never once in all the pain and tears do I regret loving him. And likewise, never will I love another. What does that mean for my country? If I do not have children then whose hands will Orb be left in? That is where my beloved brother comes in yet again, Kira Yamato. Though he does not carry the Attha name, he is blood of my blood, my twin. He is happily married to Lacus Clyne and has two daughters and a son on the way. Yes, if Orb needs help, Kira is there.

Am I jealous of my brother's happiness? Absolutely not. Though I cannot have that happiness for myself, I am overjoyed in his. Oh how I miss that fool Athrun and how my heart screams to be in his arms once more, yet, here I am in Orb far apart from the man who holds my heart.

This is a path I must travel and as the case may be, travel alone. I was lost for a while, drowned by Yuna and his 'family', but with help, once again found my way. The path I choose to walk has never been easy, but the path I choose none the less. One day, I might read of Athrun's marriage to another, and I am prepared to deal with that. One day I might have to read about Athrun and his family. One day, yes, perhaps one day will come, but for now…it is just today.

It has been three years and sixty-four days since I have seen Athrun in person. Three years and sixty-four days since my amber eyes gazed into his emerald ones. Why did I make the choices I did? Why did I choose to let go and not fight for him? The answer is simple… it is _because_ I love him that I let him go. It is because I love him that I gave the ring he placed on my hand… into the hands of another. It is because I love him that I continue to live my life in the way that I do.

Athrun you have impacted me as no other could, and for that I am thankful to have met you. Though heartache and pain are waiting at my doorstep when I return home to an empty house, I am thankful for the small gems in time, the gems of my memories with you.

So with this I finally say my last goodbye. For no more will I cling to a hope that one day you will return and sweep me in your arms. No more will I allow my heart to long that I might feel your love, your kiss, once last time. No more will I wonder about my decision to let you go. Today is my last goodbye Athrun. Today I shall move on. Yes, my love for you will still burn deep and as bright as a candle in absolute darkness. I will always remember, but never regret. I will love you for as long as I breathe and with this same breath I say…

Goodbye Athrun.

"Cagalli, why don't you call it a night and go home." Kisaka stated as he entered her office.

Cagalli lifted her eyes and met her faithful bodyguard's ones and offered a small smile. "Thank you Kisaka." She replied in her usual formal tone.

Cagalli lifted her hands from her keyboard and closed the document she had just finished typing. With a bittersweet smile on her face she rose from her chair and grabbed her coat off of the small rack in the corner.

"Kisaka," Cagalli called as she walked over to him. "Thank you." She finished as she embraced the man that had been by her side for so long.

Kisaka returned the hug and asked, "What was that for?"

Cagalli just smiled a sad smile and replied, "Because I needed to hug somebody."

With that Cagalli walked out of her office with laptop in hand towards whatever future awaited her. She was a strong woman, and a woman who had felt the pain of love, yet continued to press on. A woman that few truly understood. A woman who loved and let go, consequently losing the one thing she cared about most…

Athrun Zala

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Author's Note: I would greatly appreciate any reviews to this oneshot. Thank you for taking the time to read my writing.

I am debating about making a sequel to this...what do you think? Should I?

-Samurai Girl


	2. Goodbye?

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **_**Hades.Throne.Heiress**_** and **_**Canadain-Girl**_** for the reviews and also suggestion for the sequel. My sincerest thanks go out to you.**

I guess that being a true romantic at heart I just couldn't leave the oneshot like it was. It was my first angst piece and I think it turned out pretty good, however, my true love is romance and that is just something that I cannot get away from. So hopefully those of you who read the first piece to this will also read this one. Without further ado…the sequel. Enjoy…

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**Goodbye?**

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Remember that lonely house I was talking about? The one where heartache and pain awaited at my doorstep? Well I am in that home now and once again I have opened my laptop with words to put down. Actually the words I wrote were on my work computer but because I have a system link, I can access those documents here on this laptop. So with that taken care of...

Walking out in the open air was refreshing. Granted it was only the walk to my car, but still something inside of me was relieved. Was it that I had finally decided to let Athrun go? Was it that my heart was finally able to say goodbye? Perhaps. Which of these, if either, I will never know.

I hopped in my car, buckle up, check my mirrors, and start the car. As I drive home to my lonely, empty house I continue to examine the feeling that surrounds me now. Is it happiness? No, I would say not. For how can I be truly happy without him in my life? Maybe it is the feeling of weight finally lifted that encompasses me now. Perhaps, I am finally free of the grasp Athrun holds on my heart. No, I don't think that is it either. Perhaps the feeling is simply because I have decided in my heart, to let go of the hope that one day Athrun would return for me.

I did not expect to feel this way, granted, it is not a feeling that is happy by any means, but a feeling not laced with pain none the less. I promised myself just a mere ten minutes ago that I would not think about the choices I made, and yet, here I find myself dwelling on just that. Why is it that Athrun haunts me? That I cannot let go no matter how hard I try? Is this fruit of true love, a love that never ends? Why is it that pain and sorrow have become my best acquaintances?

By the time all of these thoughts passed through my head I realized, with some dread, I was at home and sure enough, heartache and pain were waiting just for me on my doorstep. I get out of my car, locking it out of habit, and find my house key. I proceed to unlock the door and step through into a dark house. I absent mindedly switch on the lights and am reminded of the expression I used to describe my love for Athrun, as a candle in absolute darkness, and another wave of anguish washes over me like the waves of the sea. Unwilling tears begin to rim my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Instead I distract myself from such thoughts and walk over to see what there is to munch on…not that I'm hungry anyway.

After about three minutes of staring blankly at the contents of the refrigerator as if seeking an answer for some unasked question, I grab out the left over spaghetti I had made last night and pop it in the microwave. That said food I am stuffing in my face as I type.

There are so many things in life that I do not understand, things like war and love. Why does war exist? Why must we fight? Can we not obtain peace without tragedy and war… without chaos and loss? As for the latter of the two…I choose not to comment on that topic for the time being for fear of once again focusing my thoughts solely on a blue haired, emerald eyed coordinator.

Suddenly my phone rings and I accept it, it was Kira asking how I was doing. He must've sensed something wrong when I talked with him earlier today. I assured him that today was no different than normal and proceeded to ask him about the family and how Lacus and the children were. He said they were all well, and that Lacus' due date had been moved up two weeks giving her a little over eight weeks left in her pregnancy. I told him I would make an attempt to take some time off and visit them. We talked for about an hour and finally he was assured enough to hang up. Now I am once again typing on this keyboard with heartache waiting for just the right opportunity to swallow me.

It's been about four hours or so now since I made a silent promise with myself and typed the words I have been longing to type for so long. That stirs something that I hadn't thought of before. Perhaps the reason for the feeling as I walked to my car was because I had finally let out the emotion. I had finally typed what I for so long feared to type. For so long I held onto hope, and in that moment, I decided to let that hope go and be blown away with the passing wind.

There's a knock on the door that startles me and I yell out a quick "Just a sec". I am curious as to who would be knocking on my door so late at night; but still, it is rude to just leave them waiting. I'll continue typing as soon as this is settled.

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"Who is it?" I call out as I cautiously approach the door.

The only reply I am greeted with is the persistent knocking.

"I asked who is at the door." I ask again still calm, but with my insides thinking over the possibility of an assassin or something along those lines.

"Fear not." Was the only muffled reply I hear. The voice sounds vaguely familiar and I reluctantly unlock the door.

I grab a nearby baseball bat just in case and slowly open the door. My eyes widen in shock, no, more than shock at what was staring back at me… emerald eyes. My breath is sucked out of me as the bat falls helplessly to the ground. I cannot comprehend what is taking place, I cannot think.

Then I hear him softly call my name. "Cagalli"

I looked at him as if he were a ghost who'd come to haunt me with more memories.

"Kira called me today." He started to say but fell silent as if it pained him to stand before me which only sent daggers through my already pierced heart.

I am finally able to breathe again and I notice my racing heart which is threatening to pound right out of my chest. I want so badly to just throw myself in his arms and be held tightly in his embrace, but I will not. Did I not only hours ago say my last goodbye to the very man standing before me now? Oh the irony of it all.

"Cagalli," My name rolls off his tongue and I raise my head in reply. "Kisaka…Kisaka e-mailed me something a few hours ago." My eyes widened in shock and in fear. "I- I… I never knew."

My worst fear was coming to claim me as I lowered my head unable to look at him and silently hoping that it was just another bad dream. I was not so lucky as he continued to speak.

"I know we have much to talk about, but right now only one thing matters." He stated as he ever so gently and timidly raised my chin so I was forced to look into his enchanting emerald eyes.

In one swift motion he took me into his arms holding me tightly as if I might vanish and disappear if he let go. My heart leapt in joy and I blushed at the contact. Soon my mind caught up with me and I pulled back from his embrace finally finding my voice.

"Why are you here Athrun?" It came out harsher than I had meant it, and my heart ached ever more when his eyes dulled slightly.

"I came for you." His answer was simple and yet one that took me by complete surprise.

"You have been gone for three years and six... -three years with no contact and only now do you return!?" I absent mindedly yell as unwilling tears once again rim my amber eyes.

"Cagalli, if only I had known, if only I hadn't been so naïve. I would have been by your side this whole time."

I stumbled back slightly at that remark. What did that mean? What was he trying to say?

"I'm sorry Cagalli, so sorry. I was unable to see past my own pain for so long, and now that I can fully see, I see what I have done to you… how I've hurt you. I understand if you never wish to see me again but before I leave I have something I must say."

He took a deep breath and I held mine unconsciously.

"There was once a girl that I met on an island I crashed on. A girl who captured my heart and I fell madly in love with. A girl who I hurt and caused so much suffering, the very same girl I stand before now."

My tears started to fall wetting the sides of my face and I released the breath I was holding.

"That girl was none other than you Cagalli Yula Attha and I am still in love with you." He paused to look up into my amber eyes from which tears were feely flowing. "I love you with all that I am Cagalli and I never want to say goodbye again."

I can't take it anymore and my knees buckle as I start to descend to the porch below me. A strong pair of warm arms break my fall and gently wrap themselves around me and I bask in their warmth.

Could this really be happening?

Slowly he pulls away and my heart saddens a little at the loss of contact. He gazes into my golden, amber eyes with soft emerald ones. A small smile makes its way onto his face as he gently places a hand on my cheek. His eyes slowly start to close as does the distance between our lips. And in that moment, I am happy. I am at peace, and I relish the taste of his sweet lips once more. Of course I heartily reply to the kiss after the initial shock wears off.

He once again pulls back and whispers again the words I have longed to hear for so long. "I love you Cagalli."

I am finally able to find my voice for the third time since I saw him at my door and reply with more joy than can be measured. "I love you too Athrun."

I see him smile his elegant, breath taking smile right before he encircles me in his arms once more.

After a few minutes of just enjoying each others' warmth and contact he finally breaks the silence.

"How about we go inside now? The two pair of eyes in the bushes behind us have seen quite enough."

I glance over his shoulder to see what he is talking about and briefly see a rather large _bird_ with vibrant purple eyes right before it plummeted to the ground beneath it.

I let out a small laugh and remind myself that I'll both have to kill and thank Kira and Kisaka later. For it was obvious now that this was both of their doing.

Athrun ushers us in and closes the door, not noticing that I saw the quick thumbs up sent to the bushes.

Reaching in his pocket he beings to speak.

"Cagalli there is one more thing I have to say."

Instantly fear washes over me as I swallow hard and nod my head shakily.

He closes some of the distance between us and gently takes my hand in his.

"I believe this belongs to you." He says as a ruby ring slips on my left hand.

"Athrun" I say, but that's all the more I manage to squeak out.

"Will you marry me Cagalli Yula Attha?" He asks as he finds a knee well placed on the floor before me.

My heart beats furiously and I instantly flush as I offer a simple, breathless, "Yes" in reply.

He rises from the ground and once again I find his lips upon my own.

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I have returned to the abandoned laptop that sits upon my table and after retelling the events of the night I smile and end with this...

"Today really was my last goodbye."

'_Just not in the way I thought._' I think as I close the laptop and walk out to my couch to see my future awaiting me with a head of dark blue hair and emerald eyes.

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Author's Note: For those of you who like angst...I just couldn't leave the story as is, my apologies. I sincerely hope that some of you out there will **review** to this oneshot that turned into two. It would really mean a lot to me especially since this is my first ever posting on GSD. I hope you enjoyed the sequel to Last Goodbye.

-Samurai Girl


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